It’s time to let go of that stereotype that stage shows are a “girly” activity. There are plenty of productions, especially in Las Vegas, that you can watch without risking having to give up your man card – and we’re not talking strip or burlesque shows, either. We’re talking real stage shows with production value, real actors, rehearsed choreography, the occasional musical score, and all that other stuff you do your best to stay away from.
What are these mystical productions that cater to the manly man inside of you, you ask? They are unique gems, the likes of which you’ve never seen…
Evil Dead the Musical 4D
You love the movies. You’ve followed Ashley “Ash” Williams on all of his side adventures. You find yourself quoting the series whenever the chance arises. So, there’s no doubt that you’ll fall in love with this musical adaptation of the original Evil Dead film trilogy.
Picking up right at the start of the first movie, Evil Dead the Musical 4D shows you what happens when 5 college students try to party in the deep, dark woods. You’ll find yourself facing demonic mayhem, a talking moose, plenty of chainsaw action, and 20-gallons of fresh blood. While the production could easily stand tall on its own, there is a little extra something for those that like being right in the action.
The coveted “Splatter Zone” seating is where the production really shines – and where your manliness will truly show. Audience members in this selection of seating get impressive views of the every detail of the show. As the mayhem unfolds, they are sprayed with warm “blood”, which will coat the pristine white shirt they’re given at the start of the show. A souvenir and a good time? What more could you ask for!
What’s that? Hot chicks? Yeah, the show’s got that too in the form of a scantily clad heroine.
Imagine a Cirque du Soleil production sans all of the fluff and mystical crap bound to make your testicles shrink. That’s Absinthe. The show’s host, the Gazillionaire, and his faithful, quippy, and tantalizing sidekick, Penny, are rude, crude, and crass, which makes it all the easier to justify enjoying what is really just an offbeat acrobatic variety show.
Throughout Absinthe, you will see feats and death defying acts including a team of tight-rope walkers, an aerialist duo, and a roller skating act that will have even you grabbing onto the edge of your seat. Though you may have that tough guy exterior, there is no doubt that by the end of Absinthe, you’re heart will have skipped more beats than you can count.
Adding humor the these stressful stunts are the show’s headliners. The Gazillionaire and Penny curse profusely and are all out inappropriate, all the while bringing a classy variety show to life.
This is one acrobatic showcase that won’t have you handing over your proverbial “mancard”.
It’s loud, it’s fun, and it’s not as dumbed down as Blue Man Group. As you would expect from the name, drummers Justin Spencer and Ryan Vezina, guitarist Matt Bowman, and DJ Todd Griffin utilize unconventional objects to create unheard of versions of classics like The Beatle’s Eleanor Rigby.
Recycled Percussion may have the same formula as Blue Man Group, but it handles itself in a more adult manner. You’re not subjected to sensory overload with colors and manmade contraptions. Everything, sans the entertainment value, is very much so toned down to fit a more adult crowd. Even some of the acts include slight acrobatics to add a little more production value to the show.
If you’re looking for nothing more than a blatant, mindless good time, than Recycled Percussion is the show you should look out for. There’s even a little audience participation to keep the crowd engaged and completely entertained.
Tournament of Kings
What can be said about this medieval times recreation at the Excalibur? For one, the entire room is fuming with testosterone. The performers are hyped up and they use their dramatic wiles to drag the audience down a road of overjoyed excitement.
Before the festivities begin, you’re treated to a hearty meal – Middle Ages-style. Don’t expect to be handed a fork and knife to help you chow down, either. You’re given everything a medieval family would have and left to your own devices. Expect to get messy, but also expect to forget all about it once the show begins.
Right in the center of the main arena is where you will get your taste of death defying tournaments including jousting and good old fashion sword fighting. The dramatics fuel the energy of the room as each side of the arena is charged with cheering for a specific knight. Before long, jeering and cheering fills the air as steel clashes until there is but one victor.
You don’t get much more manlier than a show of fighting in an age where men ruled the arenas. If you’re lucky, you’ll even have the added bonus of bragging rights if you were cheering for the right knight.
Rock of Ages
Ignoring the fact that the central plot is a love story, Rock of Ages is a manly show that lets you transport yourself back to an era of long hair and classic rock. You’ll get your taste of big hair, complicated love, downfalls and climaxes, which all play second fiddle to this production’s musical line-up.
If you grew up with hair bands, you’re going to find it hard not to sing along to tunes like “We Built This City”, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”, “I Wanna Rock”, and “Here I Go Again”. Everything about Rock of Ages is a trip back in time. These were the songs you sang in your bedroom. These were the anthems that got you through high school. These songs were from the artists that you idolized and dreamed of being.
You may get criticized considering the plot follows a complicated love between two very different individuals, but those doing the criticizing are just missing out on the chance to rock and roll like the olden, golden days.
As you book your Vegas event, keep these shows in mind. If you’re not into the nightclub or strip club scenes, they definitely offer a good alternative. They’re also perfectly safe and sound for you to bring your girl to, if there is one in your life you have to worry about.
By “Mark LoProto“